Insights into North County Divorce Mediation

Pierre Domercq Mediation

As an experienced Carlsbad divorce attorney with decades of experience in mediation, Daniel Burke is able to provide insights into the mediation process, and a few suggestions that can make this experience more positive for both parties.
Mediation is an excellent tool for reducing the time and cost required to complete your divorce, and to actually make the process a bit easier to endure emotionally. A successful mediation will not only shield your children from a divorce filled with anymosity, it will make life more stable once the divorce is completed. Parties who reach agreement in mediation are more likely to abide by those agreements after the divorce is finalized.
A few suggestions upon entering into a mediation:
1. In order to find common ground and help the parties to understand one another’s point of view, the mediator must listen intently to both sides. While it may appear at times that the mediator is nodding in approval or seemingly agreeing with your former spouse’s point of view, that doesn’t mean the mediator is taking sides. Quite the contrary, a strong mediator will openly approach both points of view seeking to get to the root of any challenge or area of disagreement and to gain each party’s initial position. The strong mediator will gain a full understanding of both points of view before guiding the conversation in a manner that helps to encourage settlement of the issue at hand.
2. Make sure you are well organized. The ATROs issued with your divorce summons require you to provide a transparent, accurate and complete accounting of all assets, debts, financial interests and property. You have a fiduciary duty to each other to act in good faith. Have all the facts surrounding income, assets, accounts and liabilities clearly organized and ready for the conversation.
3. Be prepared to give a little to get what you want and need. Neither party will “win” – especially before a Judge if your case were to go to litigation. The same is true in mediation. It is important to understand that divorce settlements require give and take from both parties in order to reach a fair and equitable settlement. What is most important to you? Will a possession matter to you in 3 years? 5 years? What are the things that will matter to you over the perspective of a lifetime? An effective mediator will ensure that one party isn’t dominating and that each gives a little here and receives a little there.
In the end, mediation is a more dignified, cost-effective and less stressful way to resolve issues in a divorce and complete the process. It helps to resolve issues that may not be possible for two individuals to work through alone at this point in time, while ensuring that each person is in a safe environment based upon equality and fairness.
If you have have questions about mediation or would like to schedule an appointment to meet Mr. Burke we invite you to contact us or call 760-712-3741.