Divorce can be complicated, messy and scary. But, parents divorcing have the added fear and worry of the effect the divorce will have on their children. But, in the past few years, nesting or birdnesting has developed into a great way for parents to transition their kids through the divorce and lessen the effect of the Carlsbad, California, divorce.
What is nesting or birdnesting?
These terms refer to the practice of keeping the family home throughout, and sometimes, after the divorce. The divorcing spouses’ kids stay in the home, and their kids’ lives mostly remain unchanged. The parents, on the other hand, shuffle in and out of the family home according to the terms of the parenting plan and child custody order.
How does this help the children?
The negative effects of divorce usually stem from parental infighting, dealing with the unknown and the upheaval of their lives. Nesting can eliminate these issues. Specifically, nesting forces the parents to work together for the best interests of the child as they are going to still be sharing the same home and bills.
For the child, nesting allows the divorce and postdivorce life to look pretty much the same as life prior to the divorce. This is because their lives stay put. They sleep in the same bed, do not change schools, keep their friends and the only aspect of their lives that changes are their parents no longer parent together.
With the help of a training family counselor or therapist, by the time the parents fully divorce or the family home needs to be sold, the children had the time they needed to work through it in a healthy way and in their own time.
Are there benefits for the parents as well?
There definitely can be benefits to the Carlsbad, California, parents as well. The primary benefit is the happiness and mental health of their children. Secondarily, though, there can also be monetary benefits. If the parents share the living quarters when not at the family home, they can reduce their living expenses.
Finally, since the children do not need to shuffle between two new homes, the parents do not have to buy additional items for the kids. Indeed, no money will be needed for their children. As such, a big parental benefit to nesting is a better economic future.
Is nesting right for everyone?
No. Nesting is only right for those Carlsbad, California, parents who are divorcing amicably. They must be able to work together, and there cannot be any issues with infighting or domestic violence.