Going through a divorce is hard under the best of circumstances, but if you’re dealing with someone who’s narcissistic or controlling, it becomes a nightmare. One thing you have to remember in these cases is that these individuals usually feel more powerful when they can invoke emotions in others.
It’s up to you to take that control away from them, but this can often be difficult. It may help if you employ the gray rock method when you’re dealing with your ex.
What is the gray rock method?
Think about a typical gray rock. There’s nothing interesting or remarkable about it. Instead, it’s very boring. Your goal when you’re dealing with your ex is to keep all emotions, good or bad, hidden so you’re as boring as that gray rock.
The gray rock method doesn’t mean that you ignore your ex. You may have to deal with them during the divorce, as well as after if you share children. Instead, you need to limit communication to only to matters related to the divorce or the children. No personal communication should occur.
It’s highly unlikely that you’ll never feel emotion when you’re dealing with your ex. Instead of reacting while you’re with them, make a plan for releasing those emotions when they aren’t around. This may help you to make it through those situations.
During the divorce, having someone on your side who can handle the legal side of things can take some of the stress off of you. They can also take on some of the communication with your ex, which is often beneficial in these situations.