Couples are typically deeply in love when they get married. It’s a time that’s full of excitement and optimism. Nonetheless, long-term relationships require work. They also require communication and compromise.
The truth is that many spouses don’t really get to know one another until after they are married. Much of the time, the bond grows deeper, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, a spouse may exhibit unexpected and unwanted behaviors. An example of this is controlling behaviors. What do these look like in a marriage?
Having to ask permission
As kids, most of us had to ask our parents for permission to partake in certain activities. For example, permission may have been denied to go to the cinema to see something that is aimed at adults. When we reach adulthood, we shouldn’t really need to ask anyone for permission to go out with friends, etc. If you have to get permission from your spouse to do even the most simple things, like going out, then it’s a sign that controlling behavior has crept into the relationship.
Constant accusations
Controlling behavior can also take the form of a spouse making constant accusations that have no factual basis. For example, you may have arrived home late from work one evening because traffic was bad or you had to do a little overtime. Giving one of those explanations should be enough for your partner. Nonetheless, a controlling spouse may accuse you of having an affair or not telling the truth about where you have been.
Other signs of controlling behavior include:
- Limiting your finances by confiscating bank cards, changing online passwords, etc.
- Hiding the car keys.
- Requiring you to constantly check in via cell phone. Sometimes, this may even include installing tracking apps.
Controlling behavior is a sign that there is no trust in the relationship. Ultimately, it could mean your marriage is in trouble, and it may be worth thinking about protecting yourself. Seeking legal guidance is one of the best places to start.