Did you realize certain myths about relationships can damage your marriage? Certain myths about marriage can also be harmful for some California couples who believe them.
For example, some couples may interpret equality in a marriage as meaning they have to share everything 50/50. It is usually a great idea to share in the day-to-day chores and responsibilities of managing a household and raising children. According to a substantial recent study by Stanford University one of the primary complaints of many women is “my husband expects me to cook every meal, do the laundry and handle everything with the kids.”
Sharing responsibilities during COVID-19 is essential to managing all of the challenges marriages are facing during the pandemic.
However, if couples are seeing marriage in a more transactional way, in which every act has to be “repaid” by an equal act from the other person, it is more likely to create resentment. Equality in a healthy marriage means that couples help one another as needed. This means that at different times, each person will give more than 50 percent when the the other person is unable to do so.
One of the other most common myths about relationships and marriage is the idea that marriage puts an end to a healthy sex life. Studies actually show that long-term married couples often share a relationship which is much more intimate and connected than single couples.
Myths about relationships are often rooted in how one was raised. One of the partners might believe that the way they fight means their marriage is in trouble. However, the marriage counselor and writer John Gottman says the popular conflict resolution method of “active listening” is often ineffective. It is too emotionally grueling for some couples, and even many of those it does help drop the technique within a year. Strategies for resolving disagreements are as unique as the individuals who comprise the relationship.
Some people might think their personality flaws will doom a marriage. However, how couples deal with one another’s individual personality quirks is more important than what they are.
If couples cannot resolve conflicts around these and other types of myths about relationships they may decide that divorce is the right step. COVID-19 has placed a lot of stress on most San Diego marriages. If you are considering the end of your marriage there is lot of pre-planning to be done. It is important to seek the experienced advice and counsel of our Certified Family Law Specialists to help you develop strategies for negotiating areas of disagreement, especially surrounding child custody, parenting time and the division of community property.
While myths about relationships can damage your marriage myths about divorce can lead to a much more emotionally challenging, time consuming and expensive divorce. Pre-planning can not only save you substantial time and money, it will also help to reduce the emotional toll of your divorce for all involved.