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How To Manage your Divorce From a Narcissist in San Diego

On Behalf of | Apr 8, 2021 | Divorce

Are you searching for insight into how to manage your divorce from a Narcissist in San Diego?  According to the U.S. National Institute of Health almost 1 out of 10 divorces in the United States includes a narcissist.

The central issues of narcissism are a complete lack of empathy for others, combined with a strong need to be important and even liked.  Science may not know what causes narcissism, but the Certified Family Law Specialists at Burke & Domercq have guided many clients through their divorce from a narcissist.  We can help you.

The narcissist feels an overwhelming need to win at all costs.  It’s either a “win” or a “loss” and losing is never acceptable.  When it’s not possible for the narcissist to control the situation they will usually play the “victim card.”  This makes direct negotiation with your spouse seem almost impossible.

The reality of divorce is the cost and the time it takes to complete are both directly associated with the ability of the former spouses to resolve challenges and reach agreement.  The narcissist is not interested in resolving a dispute unless it’s a complete and total victory for themselves.

This doesn’t mean you need to just surrender everything in order to get out.  It means you need a solid, well conceived and executed strategy to carefully guide every aspect of your divorce.

It may surprise you to learn that one of the best tools to help manage your divorce from a narcissist in San Diego is to make sure they are not representing themselves.  This may seem counter-intuitive but a knowledgeable, reasonable attorney knows how to manage a narcissistic client and guide them through the process of a divorce.  This can have a substantial and positive impact on mediation and actually reduce the time it takes to complete your divorce as well as the cost.

Expect bullying tactics throughout the process.  Never take legal advice from a narcissist.  It is normal for a narcissist spouse to try to convince you their position is legal, moral, ethical, etc.  One example relates to property division.  A narcissist will try to convince their former spouse that since their name is the one on the title, the asset is “their separate property.”  It is important to know that almost all assets or debts acquired by either or both parties during the course of the marriage are community property regardless of who’s name is on the title, loan or account.

Expect substantial resistance on all aspects of child custody and parenting time.  A narcissist attempts to leverage the children in a divorce case.  The Court takes a dim view of this activity and ultimately any evidence of these efforts will negatively impact the narcissist’s own case.

A professional therapist or counselor will also help to manage your divorce from a narcissist in San Diego.  Many former spouses of narcissists have PTSD and other issues which require skilled treatment.  Your support system will be a crucial component of your strategy as you work through the divorce process.

Finally, remember to conduct yourself reasonably and maintain your composure – especially when your former spouse isn’t.  The Court is carefully observing the actions of each party.  The best way to accomplish your goals and objectives is to keep all communications calm and reasonable.  Never communicate when you are angry or upset.  The rantings, controlling behaviors and actions of a narcissist will be clear to all parties, including the Judge.

Learn more about how to manage your divorce from a narcissist in San Diego. Protect your own interests and contact us or call 760-389-3927 to schedule an appointment for a remote or socially distanced consultation with one of our experienced Certified Family Law Specialists.