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Divorcing a Narcissist in San Diego

On Behalf of | Aug 20, 2021 | Divorce

Are you concerned about divorcing a narcissist in San Diego?  There’s no way around this: divorcing a narcissist is going to be challenging but with the proven strategies and support of the Certified Family Law Specialists at Burke & Domercq you can successfully complete a divorce with a former spouse who suffers from a personality disorder such as narcissism.

Divorcing a narcissist in San Diego requires planning, preparation and internal commitment.  It will also require a bit of study, forearmed knowledge and patience.  This is especially true if child custody and parenting time will be an issue in your divorce.  But hey, you’re reading this and we know you’ve probably had enough and are looking for some genuine guidance.

The primary word in your arsenal is simply the word “no.”  A narcissist will work to convince you they know the law and “how this is going to go.”  The simple answer is “No, California Family Law mandates what is going to happen and how things are to be judged.”  Once the Judge issues temporary orders in your case (often at the outset of the case when a narcissist is involved) the Court will mandate what is to happen and enforce it.

The strategy of a narcissist is to separate you from all others as much as possible and for you to surrender to what they want.  Control.  Power.  The primary thing to keep in mind is California Family Law is what will rule this proceeding and ultimately fight the will of your narcissistic soon-to-be former spouse.  Your job is not to fight, directly.  Your job is to remain tightly focused on the (small) subject immediately at hand.  Communicate calmly at all times and keep the conversation tightly focused.  Use the word “no” to put a stop to a rant or side track and simply say something like “what we’re discussing at the moment is (subject at hand).”

If you feel like you’re becoming emotional, angry or facing a brick wall simply disengage and say something to the effect of “ok, we’ll have to come back to this.”  Disengage.  Calm, focused, short communications focused on one or two questions.  Mediation is also often a good strategy when dealing with a Narcissist.  Remind your spouse if the matter is placed before the Judge there is no control in the matter.  The Judge (a total stranger) will simply decide.  The concept of maintaining some form of control can be an effective tool to get a narcissist to negotiate or mediate an issue.

Divorcing a narcissist in San Diego requires the strong, experienced and proven Certified Family Law Specialists at Burke & Domercq. Protect your own interests and contact us or call 760-389-3927 to schedule an appointment for a remote or socially distanced consultation with one of our experienced Certified Family Law Specialists.