Divorce is never easy, but when it comes as a shock, you may be unprepared both emotionally and financially. The truth is that divorce rarely comes entirely out of nowhere, but it is not uncommon for one California spouse to fail to recognize the signs that the marriage is failing. If your spouse is the oblivious one, being aware of how serious the signs below are may prompt you convey to them the urgency of resolving your problems.
Unresolved conflict
Often, divorce is the result of many small issues piling up rather than one huge issue. Once you have stopped trying to resolve your conflicts, divorce might be imminent. You might think that because your spouse has stopped bringing up conflicts to you that there are no more problems, but this could be because they have simply given up on trying to solve them with you. If you are the one who finds yourself giving up, you might want to be explicit with your spouse about what you are thinking.
Refusing further discussion
A related issue is refusing to discuss a conflict any further. While there may be times when one or both of you needs to step back from a conversation or argument, this should not be a permanent state of affairs. If one or both of you uses the silent treatment or there are certain important topics that are off limits, your marriage may be in more trouble than you realize.
Blaming one another
It is rare for one person to be blameless in a marriage. One of the common signs that you might be headed for a divorce is that you each blame the other for your problems or cannot stop thinking about what the other person has done wrong. It may help to consider how you may be contributing to conflict and unhealthy dynamics.
In some situations, divorce may be the best solution. However, by keeping the above points in mind, you can feel more confident that you have tried your best to solve the problems in your marriage.