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How to divorce a narcissist

On Behalf of | Mar 25, 2024 | Divorce

If you are married to a narcissist and your marriage is coming to an end, there is a good chance that your divorce will be settled with the help of a California judge. This is because narcissists generally don’t want to negotiate in good faith. Instead, they want to inflict as much pain on you and the rest of the family as possible while also dragging out the divorce process as long as possible.

Life is a zero-sum game to a narcissist

A narcissist is unlikely to agree to a divorce without attempting to gain as many concessions as possible. Instead of working in a collaborative manner, this type of person sees divorce negotiations as something that are won or lost. Narcissists will often use tactics such as spreading rumors or using the court system against you to get their way.

Get ready for an expensive proceeding

Divorces that involve narcissists are often more expensive than they need to be. This is because you’ll likely need to pay for counsel as well as pay court costs over the course of several months or years. You may also need to pay to obtain documents or other records related to your case to counter the narrative your former spouse will likely use before, during or after a divorce trial.

Courts may offer limited assistance

Research indicates that family courts don’t necessarily have the staff or other resources to handle the issues related to a high-conflict divorce. Therefore, it will be primarily up to you to do whatever it takes to obtain a settlement in the face of adversity. It will also be primarily your responsibility to ensure that you shield your children from as much of the divorce process as possible.

A court will base its decisions on facts opposed to how you or your spouse feel about a given situation. Ultimately, the strength of bank records, tax documents or other evidence presented in court will determine whether you receive a given asset or other resources from your spouse. It will also determine if you get partial or full custody of your kids.