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What to Focus On When You are Thinking About a Divorce

On Behalf of | Oct 20, 2019 | Divorce

It is often difficult to know what to focus on when you are thinking about a divorce.  Considering the end of a marriage usually brings a complex blend of memories, challenges and mixed feelings.  The thoughts forming in your mind are most likely a combination of nostalgia, frustration, concern for the future and questions about what is best for you (and your children).

After decades of service to Carlsbad and North County San Diego we would like to ease your burden a bit as you approach this difficult decision.  The most important thing to know about a Carlsbad divorce is this:

The cost of a divorce and the time it will take to complete are directly related to the ability of the former spouses to work through areas of dispute and reach agreement.

Whether through agreement between you and your spouse, or by the orders of a Judge your divorce cannot be completed until all issues in the settlement agreement are resolved.

Identifying options for resolving areas of disagreement between you and your former spouse is the best thing to focus on when you are thinking about a divorce.  The best divorce experience is one where the parties work together with attorneys who will are committed to accomplishing your goals effectively while preserving a constructive atmosphere.

Mediation is an excellent tool for resolving challenging questions.  In mediation an experienced and neutral third party guides the conversation through areas of principled disagreement to help the parties consider multiple alternatives and ultimately arrive at a resolution.

It is important to understand another reality when you are thinking about a divorce – there is no “win” or “lose” in a divorce.  Our Carlsbad Judges would ask you to think more in terms of “give” and “take.”  Ponder questions about what will be most important to you five or ten years from now.  It will be the peace of mind you have during the course of your divorce and the life that follows.  It will be about harmonious transitions for you and any children in your life.

It will be more about experience than the possession of “things.”

Finally, the reality is those parties who are able to find a way to work constructively through their divorce not only bear less emotional burden during the process, their life after the divorce is completed is much easier and more effective.  People are much more likely to keep and abide by agreements reached on their own than those imposed upon them by a Judge.

When you are thinking about a divorce focus upon resolving areas where you know there may be disagreement between you and your spouse.  Working constructively through issues reduces stress during your divorce, and reduces the likelihood of going to back to court and battling over issues such as child custody or spousal support.

There is a path forward, and it doesn’t have to be strewn with money and pain.  Draw on the experience and expertise of one of the most experienced divorce and family law firms in Carlsbad. We invite you to contact the Certified Family Law Specialists at Burke & Domercq or call 760-389-3927 to schedule an appointment with one of our attorneys.

Concentrating your focus on resolving areas of perceived conflict is one of the most productive things you can do when you are thinking about a divorce.  Pre-planning before taking action will make a substantial difference and significantly increase the likelihood of a successful outcome.