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Answering Your Kid’s Hard Questions About Divorce

On Behalf of | Jun 15, 2020 | Child Custody and Visitation

Are you worried about being able to answer your kid’s hard questions about divorce?  It’s very understandable for those planning to divorce to want to prepare as much as possible in advance. It’s not uncommon for spouses to wait for the “right” time to announce the divorce.

Usually, they have already been working with one of our Certified Family Law Specialists well ahead of time.  This is always advisable even if you may still feel like you’re on the fence about the relationship.  You may begin to make copies of all financial documents. These steps are often taken in order to gain some sense of control in what may feel like an unstable time in one’s life.

While a lot of the logistical concepts of a divorce can be worked out through planning with the help of the experienced family law attorneys at Burke & Domercq, when it comes to dealing with children involved in the divorce, things are often not so cut and dry. While emotions are running high, parents should try to stay calm and collected around their children in order to give them a sense of security, especially when answering your kid’s hard questions about divorce.

Of course, most children want to know why their parents are breaking up and what is going to happen to them.  How will things work with school, friends, pets, extra-curricular activities, extended family and even vacations?  No matter how organized and ready you may be to file divorce papers, you may never be fully ready for these types of crucial conversations.

A recent study asked how divorcing parents handled the “why” question and a lot of respondents seem to have similar ideas on the matter. Most parents agree that honesty is the best policy, but with minimal details, especially for younger kids. Many parents also agreed that badmouthing their ex is a no-no, as that individual is still the child’s parent.  Speaking ill of a former spouse can also come back to harm your own interests during the child custody and parenting time phase of your divorce.

Although every parent may take a different approach when it comes to answering these tough questions, if California parents keep their child’s best interests in mind, it can go a long way toward making them feel secure and loved.  Many parents seek the advice of counselors to help them to prepare for these conversations as well as the journey ahead with their child(ren).