As Certified Family Law Specialists with decades of experience in San Diego divorce and family law cases we can tell you modern divorce has come a long way in San Diego. The old model of divorce which has played out on screens of all sizes for decades is a couple battling out every issue in Court. The myth which developed out of these dramas was having an attorney is what causes the contentiousness and runs up the fees.
A modern divorce is so much different in 2021. Here in California, more than 80% of divorces are actually filed by one of the parties themselves without representation. The reality is more than half of those and nearly three quarters of the divorces which involve children, assets or both, require both parties to hire an attorney before the divorce is completed.
The reality of divorce is actually quite easy to understand: the cost of ending a marriage and the time it requires is directly related to two things:
- The number of things upon which the parties disagree, and
- Their ability to work through these issues and reach agreement
Your divorce cannot be completed until every single item in the separation agreement is complete. This means all issues including child custody and parenting time, child support, the division of community property including the family home, any business or professional practice, spousal support as well as the division of any retirement account or pension must be completely resolved.
If not, a solution will be decided upon by the Judge. The reality of a modern divorce is almost never “win” or “lose.” It’s a matter of “give” and “take.”
There are times to take principled stands. There are issues of child safety, fraud and even bullying which require the attention of a skilled, experienced and proven divorce attorney. But San Diego couples no longer have to exhaust their life savings in order to simply complete a divorce.
The old model of divorce has been replaced with options that allow couples to tailor solutions to the unique rhythms of their family and their children’s lives. The good news is this: it’s absolutely possible to work with the Certified Family Law Specialists at Burke & Domercq to pre-plan your divorce and develop strategies to effectively and efficiently move areas of potential disagreement to resolution. In 2021, many issues are resolved through effective negotiation.
Mediation is also an important tool in the modern divorce. Mediation is private, confidential and designed to establish a productive and safe environment for getting to the root of the issue(s), identifying potential alternatives and ultimately reaching an agreement.
The decision to end a marriage is challenging enough. The process doesn’t have to be a nightmare. The modern divorce is much more about working to craft an agreement each party can not only live with, but which sets up the best likelihood for a successful path going forward.