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Supporting Your Children Through a Divorce

On Behalf of | Jan 26, 2020 | Child Custody and Visitation

What are some of the best strategies for supporting your children through a divorce in North County San Diego? Many psychologists focus on helping the child to see the divorce as a change of circumstances and not the end of the world.  This perspective combined with both parents remaining emotionally as well as physically involved in the child’s life are keys to supporting children through a divorce.

How a child perceives the relationship between their parents has a substantial impact on the long term emotional health of the child. If the parents can remain calm, and interact in a productive civil manner it provides the children with an extra layer of protection.

The relationship between the parents has obviously changed, however it is important for the former spouses to understand the profound impact their own conduct and communications will have not only on the divorce experience, but on life after the decree is issued.  Supporting your children through a divorce is a natural instinct for most parents, and requires consistent diligence on behalf of both parents.

Former spouses who will share parenting time after the divorce who are able to maintain calm cooperative communications have a much higher rate of success with their children, and with their own quality of life.

The children will thrive if the rhythms of their lives remain consistent, even though one of the parents may be missing from the picture at times. Keep them involved in normal activities and friendships. Prepare yourself prior to interacting with a child, especially if they are acting out.

It is also important to understand the concept of parental alienation in a divorce setting.  Unfortunately, there are many cases where one of the parents attempts to turn the child(ren) against the other parent.  If a judge suspects you are responsible for parental alienation it can and will have a tremendously negative affect on your own custody and parenting time rights, not to mention the health and well being of the child(ren).

Supporting your children through a divorce may require you to separate yourself from your own feelings of hurt, pain, anger or rejection. Counseling during divorce will help to make transition into parenting plans and child custody arrangements much smoother and healthier for your children. Learning to manage your own emotional challenges while presenting your child with love and support will help to preserve the best possible environment for a child of divorce.

It will also significantly improve the quality of your life as well as your peace of mind.