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When your spouse doesn’t want to attend mediation

On Behalf of | Oct 12, 2023 | Divorce

Divorce is not easy, even in the best of circumstances. It is a highly emotional and stressful process that can take a toll on both parties involved. To add an uncooperative spouse to the mix can make things even more challenging. However, it is not impossible to go through California divorce mediation when one spouse is reluctant to do so. With the right approach and mindset, you can still achieve a peaceful and fair resolution that benefits both parties.

4 tips for divorce mediation with an uncooperative spouse

First, find a mediator who specializes in high-conflict cases. In a high-asset divorce mediation, the ball is entirely in the spouses’ court. A mediator doesn’t make decisions for you or sway you in any way toward a particular outcome; their job is simply to facilitate and create an environment for productive dialogue. Someone specializing in high-conflict cases will have the necessary skills and techniques to navigate complex emotions and behaviors.

Second, manage your expectations and be realistic. In an ideal world, both parties would approach divorce mediation with a cooperative mindset and work towards finding a mutually beneficial solution. However, that is not the case with an uncooperative spouse. It is important to understand that you may not get everything you want in the mediation process, but it is a give-and-take situation. Focus on the bigger picture and prioritize what is most important to you.

Third, communication is key. Even if your spouse is difficult to work with, you still want them to understand and respect your circumstances to reach an amicable agreement. Stay calm and focused, listen actively and be respectful in your communication. Avoid getting defensive or aggressive, as it will only escalate the situation.

Finally, have a good understanding of your rights and California divorce laws. Familiarizing yourself with the legal aspects of divorce can help you make informed decisions that won’t affect you in the future in case your spouse decides to appeal the divorce agreement.

Mediation is one of the best ways to separate because it gives you control over all aspects of your divorce, takes quite a shorter time and significantly reduces costs. If it is one of the options on your table, you can use the above tips to go through it successfully, even with an uncooperative spouse.