Telling people that you’re divorcing is not a one-step process. Family and close friends typically are made aware of your separation and an impending divorce first. You may need to inform your children’s schools – especially once you start living separately. You likely will have to tell your boss if you’ll have more child care responsibilities or divorce-related appointments initially too.
If you have a large circle of friends, colleagues and others whom you know socially in the community, you may decide the best way to avoid a lot of individual additional conversations is to announce your divorce on social media. You’ve likely seen plenty of celebrity couples announce their separations or divorces this way. On the other hand, there others (like Meryl Streep and Jada Pinkett Smith) who have opted to keep their separations out of the public for years.
A few key considerations
If you choose to use one or more social media platforms to announce your divorce, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Be sure you’ve told certain people in person first: It’s also best if you give those who are active on social media a heads-up before your “public” announcement so they aren’t caught off-guard.
- Make it a joint announcement (if appropriate): This approach shows that things are amicable and makes it seem less like it was one person’s idea – regardless of what the truth is. It also lets everyone see it at the same time.
- Don’t overshare: Keep the announcement brief, and don’t respond to comments with any information or feelings that detract from a show of unity, if applicable.
After you’ve made the announcement, regardless of at what point in the divorce process you do it, it may be best to take a break from social media. That’s often recommended for divorcing couples. Social media posts can trigger feelings of jealousy and anger, even if they aren’t meant to. In worst case scenarios, they can cause accusations of poor parenting or wasting marital assets.
If you’re mediating your divorce, this process can give you the opportunity to discuss how you want to present your life transition to your social and business circles and to lay some ground rules for social media use – especially if you and your spouse share kids – going forward.